Feel Of Priceless Humor

A Rascal ‘s Punishment

There was once a rascal who lived a difficult life and could hardly prevent himself from starving to death.

He happened to pass a household that was holding a funeral for one of it deceased family member one day. He slipped in while no one was looking and cried bitterly in front of the memorial tablet of the deceased. None of the family members knew him, so thus, the surprised people inquired the reason why he cried.

“I was the best friend with the dead. We haven’t met for months. Now that he was passed away, how can I not feel sad? I was just passing by, I wasn’t prepared for anything like this! All I can do now is cry for my dear friend, which is the last thing I can do for this friendship.” The family was deeply touched by the sincere words and invited him to dinner.

While going home, the rascal met a friend that was as precarious as he was. The friend asked, “Where did you manage to eat and drink today?” The rascal told him his whole story.

The very next day, the friend also found a family that was holding a funeral and cried loudly. When the family members asked him for the reason, he told them he was a best friend of the deceased. Before he even had a chance to finish his words, he was given a storm of blows and kicks.

The deceased family member was a young housewife!

None A Pair

A man once had two pairs of boots. One of which had thin soles and the other had thick soles. One morning, he accidentally put one of each of the boots on. When he was walking, he felt utter discomfort. “This is very strange indeed! Why is it that my legs don’t feel like they are of the same length today?” He thought in surprise.

A man who happened to pass told him kindly, “Your boots are not of a pair.” He rushed home immediately to change boots. However, when he reached home and saw the other pair of boots, he pondered for a moment and said, “There is not at all a need to change. The other two are not a pair either. One is thin and the other is thick.”

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Ginseng Decoction

There was once a youngster born with a silver spoon strolling around in town. He then saw a poor porter lying on the ground helplessly. Confused, he asked the onlookers why the man was lying on the cold floor.

Someone relied, “He had no food to revive his energy and is hungry that he has no choice but to lie on the ground to catch his breath.” The foolish youngster said, “If he has nothing to eat, he should have a cup of Ginseng decoction before going out this morning! It would support him for half a day.”

Fair Judgment

Duan Guanqing served the country as a Magistrate, and was known for his honest and upright nature. While he was passing a grain shop one day, he saw many people gathered together and they seemed to be debating about something. After asking one of the many onlookers, he found out that a young man had trampled a chick to death and the boss of the grain shop demanded a compensation of nine hundred coins.

“Why does the chick cost nine hundred coins?” asked Duan Guanqing.

The young man answered, “The boss of the grain shop said that the chick was of fine breed and would weigh nine ‘jin’* after a few months. As the current price is a hundred coins for a ‘jin’ thus he wanted me to pay nine hundred coins for his loss.”

Upon hearing this, Duan Guanqing asked the boss if it was true.

The boss nodded his head and said, “Yes, it is true. That is the way I had calculated the loss.”

Duan Guanqing then brought the case to a conclusion. He said, “It seems that nine hundred coins is not much for the loss of such a fine chick. I guess you have to pay the boss back that amount of money. If you don’t have enough, I will pay the rest.”

The onlookers expressed their unhappiness about the unfair judgment behind Duan Guanqing back. The young man did not dare to protest and even had to pawn some of his clothes for six hundred coins. With the six hundred coins and three hundred coins from Duan Guanqing, the young man paid the boss for the loss of his chick.

The boss of the grain shop was very satisfied and pleased upon seeing the nine hundred coins. He took the money without a word of appreciation and turned to go when Duan Guanqing stopped him. He said, “Please stay for a moment, and listen to what I have to say. There is a saying ‘dou grain, jin chicken’. In other words, for the chick to gain one jin of its weight, it must eat one dou of grain. The nine dou of grain have been saved since your chick has died, if it correct? Now, it is only fair that you give nine dou of grain to this young man.”

The boss was tongue-tied and his mouth was agape with shock. But there were nothing he could do but pay the young man nine dou of grain. The young man got his nine dou of grain and went off happily.

Everyone praised Duan Guanqing for his fair and upright judgment.

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